feel easy

This is something personal but still I am writing with some modification. For the present context assume that I came into contact with a girl. I was with her for some time (around nine months). I started to feel attract toward her. Falling towards attraction is itself a long story, which I will describe later. Now a day when I am in Canada, many times she comes into my thinking and I start thinking about her. Perhaps it happens daily. When ever I come to lab I expect any mail from her. Basically I am waiting a mail from her. I also write mail to her. When she talks with me in a good manner I feel comfortable. But sometimes she behaves angrily then I started to feel not good. I don’t read that particular day. Whenever she bechaves angrily, I leave my work, go here and there and started to think whether I love her not. Is it just a infatuation. I also started to think, If I love what are the qualities in her which I like. Is she beautiful? What will happen if I say this to my mother or father? I also think whether she loves me or not. Is it good to marry with her? Will I remain satisfied if I marry her? I remain myself unanswered. I don’t satisfy myself 100% to accept her, but as soon as I imagine that she is going to marry with some body else, I don’t feel myself comfortable. I cannot imagine that she is going to marry with some other boy. I also not find myself 100% satisfied to marry her, but still at least I am satisfied 70% to 75%. May be in future my condition becomes good and I started to feel attracted up to more than 75%, if that happens then I will be 100% sure that I am going to marry with that girl. Because I know no one is going to 100% perfect. Whatever girl you are choosing there are some problem. If she is beautiful then she is not good in nature. If she is good by nature then may be she is not beautiful. If one is very educated then she might be very egoist. All this happens. But how can I convey all this to her. (That’s why I am writing here, to feel myself easy)